Dating again after 50
All I want, to use an old-fashioned term, is a girlfriend.Somebody I can take out to dinner on Wednesday, a picnic on Saturday, and talk to or text during the week. Getting dates isn’t the problem, it’s converting just one to girlfriend status that has been the challenge. As to the “why” behind the lack of date-nights, nearly 60 percent say they don’t need a relationship to be happy. More than 40 percent said they were considering it, but not actually doing it. You are grownup and you understand how important it is to be empathetic. They want love, companionship, romance and commitment and are doing their best to navigate the rocky shores of dating over 40.
It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.
I get an enormous volume of contacts but these fifty year olds are like herding cats on caffeine. One second they’re super interested and then a day later it’s “hmmm, well, I’m not sure, yes, no, maybe, catch me if you can”.
They break up with me and then come back to renegotiate what I could best describe as a non-physical/friends with emotional benefits/rental husband offer (which doesn’t sound too appealing to me to be honest).
They’ll text me non-stop for an entire weekend, totally disappear, and then email me ten days later.“Rules Girl” tactics are common: don’t return phone calls or texts for 48 hours, don’t pick up the phone for scheduled phone dates, etc. The disappearing, the game-playing, the crazy expectations, the mixed messages? It protected me from ever giving any man of quality a chance to see me or touch my soul. He told us that he loves women, “if only they weren’t so complicated.” And he graciously gave me permission to publish his email because he wants to help women understand more about how men feel, what they want and don’t want.
(This is another “Bobbi’s right”, fifty-year-old guys hate that type of stuff.) A woman who will initiate a few ‘how’s your day going? His frustration and his feelings of helplessness and inadequacy? When I knocked down that wall, and learned some new things, my heart opened and my love came into my life. He wants to help us all make better human connections!
These women have been emotionally abused, disappointed, betrayed and they are just so hard-wired to not get hurt again. By setting unattainable standards (fantasy man) they ensure they will never again let somebody close enough to them to hurt them again.